He's All I Want
by Raberba girl
Summary: He may be her best friend, but she's in love with someone else. For Taliax, hence the pairing. XD
1. I'm not the little girl that I used to

He's All I Want

[censored version] **(ROUGH DRAFT)**

A Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl

Summary: For Taliax, sort of. The real one's coming later. [Roxas has always been her best friend, but he's not the one she's in love with. Semi-successful attempt at an AkuShi romance thank-you fic; includes platonic variations of AkuSaiRokuShi.]

A/N: Modern AU. Xion's a seventeen-year-old high school junior; Axel's a nineteen-year-old college student. (And Roxas is a sixteen-year-old high school junior, if anyone's interested.)

I feel _morally obligated_ to declare that Raberba girl is not, in any way whatsoever, a fan of AkuShi romance - this fic is intended solely as vast appreciation for the gift of fluffy AkuSai friendship, which, in R.g.'s opinion, pwns the world. :p

**Part 1 - "I'm not the little girl that I used to be."**

"So who are you asking to the Girls' Choice dance, Xion?"

Xion blinked and jerked her chin up from where it had been resting on her hand. "What?"

Kairi laughed. "Come out of La La Land, Xi!"

"Are you asking Roxas?" Olette asked, twirling her spork.

"Roxas?" Xion frowned. "I...well, we're friends and all, but...I mean, I'm not even sure I'm going to go to the dance."

"Whaaaat?"

"Come on, Xi!"

"Do you have other plans for that night?" Naminé wondered. "You're not going out of town, are you?"

"Oh yeah," Olette laughed, "I forgot the dance is on the first day of Spring Break."

"Seriously, who _schedules_ this stuff?" Kairi complained. "Half the school's gonna be gone as soon as the last bell rings on Friday. _Lame_!"

"Yeah," Xion agreed cautiously, hoping they'd forgotten about pestering her.

No such luck. "So," Olette continued, "are you one of the ones leaving for the beach or something that weekend?"

Xion sighed. "No, I just thought I'd stay in and try to catch up with some things."

"At least go with us!" Kairi pleaded. "It's not like they're gonna kick you out if you don't have a date."

"But I don't want to be a third wheel," Xion protested. "Really, I don't mind you guys having a good time without me. I've been so busy lately, it really would be nice to have a chance to just relax."

"Aww!"

"Well, we won't _force_ you," Olette said, "but we'll miss you. Don't make up your mind just yet, okay?"

Xion smiled a little. "Okay."

After school, Xion packed up her violin and then met her best friend out by the front gate as usual. "Roxas!"

He opened his eyes, smiled, straightened, and tugged his ear buds down around his neck. "Hey, Xion."

"Did Seifer give you any trouble today?" she asked as she walked up.

"Nah, Hayner and I handled it, it was fine."

She smiled. "I'm glad. I was a little worried."

"Man, I find that insulting," he said, playfully touching his fist to the side of her head.

"It's just that your arms are a lot spindlier than Seifer's, and you...kind of fall down a lot..."

"Hey!"

They stopped to get some ice cream, then walked to Roxas's house. Xion's heart leaped when she saw a flashy red motorcycle in the driveway. "Is - Is your brother home?"

"Yeah, his Spring Break's a week earlier than ours."

"Oh," Xion said, feeling breathless. One week...so much time, and yet so little...

"We're home!" Roxas called as they came inside.

"Rox-my-socks!" Axel yelled happily from the kitchen.

"Don't _call_ me that!" Roxas yelled back.

Axel came into the living room, and Xion's breath caught in her throat. He looked so..._good_. She recognized the T-shirt, but instead of hanging loosely on him, it now stretched over beautiful chest muscles, making it clear just how well he had filled out since last semester. His crimson hair was longer than ever and still styled in those endearingly ridiculous spikes.

The best part of all was his smile. Xion could have sworn his eyes actually lit up upon seeing her. "Is that my princess?"

"Xion's here," Roxas said.

Axel swept forward and pounced on her with a bear hug as she giggled in helpless delight. "Xiiiiiii!"

"Axelllll," she returned teasingly. It felt wonderful to be wrapped in his arms. She wished he would hold her longer, but he soon stepped back - only to rest his warm palms against her face as he studied her, which was admittedly nice too.

He smiled again. "You just get more gorgeous and grown-up every time I see you. What's up with that, girl? You and Roxas are supposed to be the annoying little brother and sister always following me and Saïx everywhere."

"That was ages ago!" she exclaimed. Though if he'd ever been annoyed, he'd never showed it, unlike his best friend; Axel had almost always cheerfully let Roxas and Xion tag along.

"We're not kids anymore," Roxas pouted.

Axel laughed and ruffled his hair. "I guess that's true...man, you guys are so big now."

"Well, you've grown, too," Xion pointed out. "You've gained so much weight."

Axel gasped hugely and covered his mouth with his hand in a picture of girlish affront.

"I meant that in a _good_ way!" Xion shrieked. "You look really good now!"

Axel grinned. "Yeah, I know I do."

Xion felt her face color as Roxas grumbled, "Narcissistic idiot. Come on, Xion, let's go play video games."

"But you just got back!" Axel protested as Xion thought frantically, _'No! Just give me a little longer...'_

"Yeah. We came to play video games."

"But we can do something else, right?" Xion said. "We don't get to see Axel much anymore. Let's pick something the three of us can do together."

"I second the motion," Axel said at once.

"Fine, whatever."

They ended up going to the park to play basketball. Xion wasn't exactly an ace, but neither were the other two, and they had fun breaking rules left and right. "That's traveling!" Xion shrieked, diving to try to rip the ball out of Axel's hands.

"And that's tackling!" he crowed in response, suddenly dropping the ball in order to seize her around the waist and swing her in a wide arc. Xion went breathless, and when he swung her back to her feet, she found her own hands closed over his, securing herself in his grasp. There was a pause.

"Can I let go now, Xi?" he finally asked in amusement.

"What are you two _doing_?" Roxas yelled as he turned away from the ball he'd stolen and then tried-and-failed to dunk.

Axel smacked a quick, careless kiss against Xion's temple, startling her, then took off to yell happily back at Roxas and fight over the ball.

Somehow they ended up on the playground, when it was getting dark and all the small children had left. The three of them chased each other throughout and around the slides and tunnels and swings, got caught and wrestled each other to the ground, and eventually they all lay side by side, gazing up at the emerging stars and talking quietly.

"Do you really think there are other worlds out there?" Roxas wondered.

"You wouldn't believe how huge the universe is," Axel murmured. "Odds are we can't be alone."

Xion smiled. "I wonder what they're like, all those people out there."

"Hopefully not like the ones on TV who want to raze the planet," Roxas said, making the other two laugh.

They just lay there hanging out for a while until Axel's phone rang. He glanced idly at the number, then suddenly shot upright, babbling, "Sai, I am so, _so_ sorry, I forgot, I- Well, yeah! Duh! I haven't seen him in ages, and Xi's here, too! ... Okay, yeah, I will, I told you I will- *sigh* Fine, I suck, but-" He smiled as he listened. "No, it's okay, you're right. ... Yeah, of course! I'll be right over."

"Did you stand him up again?" Roxas snorted as Axel hung up.

"It's not a date, silly."

"You still stood him up."

"Yeah..." Axel shook his head as he got to his feet. "I gotta go, but I'll see you kids later, okay?"

"I'm not a kid," Xion mumbled unhappily, but Axel didn't seem to hear.

o.o.o.o.o

Xion hadn't intended to spend the night, but as so often happened, she and Roxas stayed up too late and ended up passing out together on the floor in front of the TV. She woke up to find sunshine streaming through the windows and the smell of Axel's cooking wafting all the way from the kitchen. "Hey, Roxas."

Roxas simply rolled over and flopped his arm over his head. Shaking her head with a smile, Xion got up and padded out of the room.

"Mornin', Xi," Axel said cheerfully as he dumped another batch of pancakes onto a plate.

"Good morning." A little apprehensively, she wrapped her arms around his middle and hugged him from behind.

He laughed and reached around awkwardly to pat her head. "Stay up too late with the video games again?"

"Yes...I'd better call Mom." Her mother wasn't happy with her, but didn't object to Xion's request to stay with the boys all day. "Thanks, Mom."

_"You'd better be back tomorrow, though. You've got homework."_

"Okay, I will. Love you, Mom." She hung up and sat down to eat as Roxas wandered in. "Where'd you and Saïx go last night?"

"His sister's performance. I missed the whole first half because I'm an idiot, but the rest was really good."

"We should have gone," Xion said wistfully. Not because she had any particular interest in watching Isa Tsukino perform, but it would have given her more time with Axel.

"Are you kidding? Saïx hates us," Roxas said. "Playing video games is way more fun than getting death glared all night."

"True," Xion said heavily.

"I'm gonna have to do something about that," Axel mumbled. "I wish the four of us could get along together..."

They spent the afternoon walking around town, talking and window shopping and munching on snacks as they went. Then Axel called Saïx over and they had a movie marathon most of the night, falling asleep in the wee hours of the morning and sleeping until noon. Xion had to bid a hurried goodbye to her friends and rush home to get yelled at by her mother before being confined to her room for the rest of the afternoon to finish her homework.

At school the next day, Kairi looked over to find Xion doodling in her notebook during the lecture. "Wasn't Axel that guy you had a crush on when you were little?" she whispered.

Xion quickly flipped the page over. "What?"

Kairi giggled. "That's his name you're drawing hearts on, right?"

Xion's face reddened. "I...just..."

"Is there something you'd like to discuss with the class, ladies?" the teacher asked sternly.

"No, ma'am," Kairi said at once, straightening up. Xion ducked her head and hurriedly pretended to be taking notes.

The week passed so, so quickly. Xion found excuses to go over to Roxas's house every day. Each moment spent with her best friend and his brother was so wonderful and yet so bittersweet, because she could not stop thinking about how little time they had together. "Are you dating anyone?" she asked once, hoping it sounded casual enough.

Axel shrugged. "On and off. Nothing serious." He grinned. "Why?"

"Just wondering," Xion muttered. "You never talk about a girlfriend..."

On Friday, Roxas was about to head to class before the bell rang, when he suddenly stopped and whirled to face her again. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "You haven't asked me to the dance yet!"

Xion froze, caught off guard. "What?"

"You're taking me, right?"

Her thoughts were a jumble. She didn't know what to say.

"Let's meet in front of the clock tower tomorrow, okay?"

"I'm not going," she finally managed to choke out.

Roxas frowned. "What?"

"I'm not-" The bell rang piercingly, drowning her out.

Roxas snapped out a frantic curse and took off down the hall. "See you later, Xion!"

She couldn't concentrate all during that period, her thoughts were so wrapped up in what he thought and what she should say. She caught him at lunch, before he could make it to Hayner's table. "Roxas, can I talk to you outside for a minute?"

"Huh? Sure."

Out between the cafeteria and the music hall, where they weren't in public for everyone to see and hear, she found it difficult to meet his eyes. "I'm not going to the dance, Roxas."

He stared at her. "Huh?"

"I...I'm really sorry, I should have told you sooner, I wasn't thinking- Look, Roxas, I...I'd ask you if I could, but I...don't..."

He kept staring at her. "You're not mad at me, are you?"

"What? No! Not at all! Really, Roxas, I just never felt like going. I'm sorry..." Her chest felt tight. Everyone probably expected her to ask him, or assumed she'd already asked him, and hadn't bothered to try for themselves. "Have you...turned down anyone?"

Roxas frowned thoughtfully at the ground. "Yeah."

Xion's mouth came open a little. "Really?"

"I mean, Naminé asked me, but I said no, of course."

Her mouth felt dry. "You turned her down because you thought I was going to ask you?"

He shrugged. "Yeah."

_'Oh, poor Naminé...I messed up, I messed up so bad...'_ "Roxas...you should...ask her."

He gave her a strange look. "Xion, it's Girl's Choice. I can't ask."

"It's just a high school dance," she said in exasperation. "I'm sure Naminé won't mind."

"...You really think I should ask her?"

"Ask her now."

They went back into the cafeteria and up to Xion's table. The other girls watched them approach, idly curious. Roxas stopped, looked from them to Xion and back to them, then said uncertainly, "Naminé, you wanna go with me to the dance tomorrow night?"

"Whaaaat?" everyone else exclaimed as Naminé stared at him in shock.

"I- But I thought you said-"

"Xion told me to ask you."

Xion elbowed him in exasperation.

"Ow!"

"Roxas would love to go with you, Naminé," Xion told her.

Color spread through Naminé's face. "Roxas...really, you don't have to be polite, I'd just been wondering..."

"Well, Xion said she's not going, so I'm fine going with you."

This was so awkward.

"Xion's going with Axel," Kairi said mischievously.

Roxas's mouth dropped open. "You're _what_?"

"She's joking!" Xion squeaked. "Axel wouldn't care about some stupid high school dance!"

Her friends were giggling (except Naminé, who still seemed flustered), and Roxas was looking at her like she was an alien. "You asked _Axel_ to the dance?"

"No, I did NOT," Xion said heatedly. "I'm just _not going_, and Kairi's being dumb, okay?"

"Okay," Roxas said dubiously. He gave everyone an awkward look, started to shuffle off to his table, then suddenly paused and turned to her again. "Xion, things aren't going to get stupid and weird with you and me and Axel, right?"

"No," Xion said quickly, without thinking. "No, Roxas, it's fine. You're my best friend."

He nodded. "Yeah. That's how it's supposed to be." Looking like he'd settled something in his mind, he walked away again, this time more confidently.

The girls burst into unrestrained laughter once he was gone. "You _guys_!" Xion said heatedly.

"You're totally going to mess Roxas up," Kairi said gleefully.

"I'm not-"

"Nami-chaaannn, you're going to the dance with Roxas!" Olette cheered, poking her.

Naminé was covering her scarlet cheeks, still looking caught between horror and elation. "I..."

"You're going to dazzle him tomorrow night, Naminé," Xion said hopefully.

"I..." Naminé suddenly surged up, frantic tears in her eyes. "I have to cancel!"

"Don't be ridiculous," Kairi ordered, pulling her down again. "You'll be fine."

"We'll help you," Olette promised.

"Just be yourself," Xion advised.

"But he's in love with you, Xion!" Naminé protested tearfully.

Xion shook her head, even as her own heart fluttered anxiously. "Naminé, he's not, trust me. We grew up together, we're like siblings. We've slept together lots of times and it's never been a big deal, he's never acted weird around me or tried to impress me-"

"You've _slept_ together?" Kairi said mischievously, as Olette covered her mouth in a playfully scandalized way and Naminé looked like she was about to faint.

"Not like _that_!" Xion backpedaled, her face flaming. "We just stay up too late and I get too tired to move to the guest bedroom and he's too lazy to go to bed so we just kind of crash on the floor-"

"You mean you're at _his house_ at _night_?"

"Argh! You guys!"

o.o.o.o.o

After school, Roxas looked a little more serious than usual when Xion met him by the front gates. "Hey," he said, "I'll walk you home, but then I have to go back out again, okay?"

She frowned. "Why don't we go wherever it is together?"

He fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well...I mean, it's for Naminé, so I...um..."

"And you don't want my help?" she said curiously.

Roxas thought about this for a while. Finally he decided, "No, I can't always be relying on you and Axel all the time. I need to learn how to do stuff on my own."

"All right. Well, walk me to your house, then, so we can hang out after you get back."

"Okay."

"And carry my violin, doofus; you're supposed to be a gentleman."

Roxas laughed. "Okay."

The house smelled _wonderful_ when Xion stepped inside. She crossed the living room, set down her things, and found Axel whistling in the kitchen.

"Axel, you ARE sharing that when you're done, right?"

"Princess!" Axel laughed in delight, setting the pan back on the stove so he could hug her. "Where's Roxas?"

"He went out for a bit, he'll be back later. You need any help?"

"Well, I've washed those vegetables over there, if you could cut them up for salad, that would be great."

They chatted companionably as they worked, Axel asking about her day at school and Xion talking about how excited everyone was for the upcoming dance. "It's Girls' Choice, so it's kind of fun trying it out the other way around." She giggled. "Olette went ahead and asked out two guys, since both of them like her and she likes both of them and the one she likes more was too polite to drop any hints but the other guy wouldn't quit bugging her about it, so...yeah."

"Pffft, and they're okay with that?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Hayner still whines about it and I don't think Pence is a _hundred_ percent happy, but they'd both rather go with her and each other than not at all."

"Man, you kids are crazy."

"Says the guy who bragged about taking _three_ girls to his high school prom," Xion teased, getting out a couple of plates.

"Hey, it was last-minute!" Axel protested. "Larxene was the one who wanted to make Demyx jealous, and she spent most of the night fighting with him and making out with him anyway. And Jasmine ditched me for Saïx as soon as she realized he'd showed up without a date, then Aqua got in a fight with those bullies and got kicked out so we had to leave early, and then I finished up the night trying to convince a seven-year-old runaway that it was way too late to be chasing rabbits around the park and she should go home."

"Whatever happened to Alice, anyway?" Xion wondered. "Do you still keep in touch?"

"Yeah. Last I heard, her dad was getting re-married - hopefully she won't get into as much trouble if she's got a mom to look after her when her dad's busy, instead of some clueless teenage sap who now lives three hours away..."

They took their meal into the living room to eat, where Axel started flipping through TV channels until Xion squealed and seized his hand. "There! That's the Cinderella movie I never got to see!"

"My ex and her friends dragged me to it, it wasn't that great," Axel chuckled, but good-naturedly let Xion have her way.

Xion could see what he meant a few minutes later - it was some clichéd modern remake with mediocre comedy and uncreative romance - but she liked it anyway. Or maybe what she really liked was getting to snuggle with Axel while they watched... She experimentally leaned against him while she was eating, and he made no protest. After she'd finished, she pushed her plate away and practically lay alongside him. He was lounging by now as well, and absently laid an arm around her waist as he watched the heroine's evil stepsisters run around the screen screaming and covered in nacho dip.

"This movie's really stupid," he remarked.

"Yeah," Xion murmured, laying her head on his chest to listen to his heartbeat.

A commercial break soon came on. Axel noticed how they were lying and laughed. "How'd we end up like this?"

"You're very comfortable," she said.

"Mm...so are you." He suddenly frowned. "Hey-"

Their eyes met. Xion shifted up a little so that she was gazing down into his face.

"Hey...Xion," he murmured uncertainly, sounding like he was caught between confusion and curiosity. He was so relaxed, so open right now-

On impulse, and before she could lose her nerve, she dipped her head to close that small distance between their lips. So easy.

[SECOND-CLUMSIEST CENSORING JOB EVER LOL]

_'This is,'_ she thought incoherently. _'I've waited for so long...'_

She was not exactly keeping track of time, and would not have been able to say how long it was before there was a noise. One which she heard but did not register, an important noise which the back of her mind kept nagging her to figure out the significance of, but she didn't _care_, she just wanted to drown herself in this moment and make it last and last-

"_Axel_?"

Axel froze on top of her and jerked his head up, and Xion mentally cursed in annoyance. _'Roxas,'_ she realized. _'Roxas is back.'_ For a moment, she wished resentfully that he would just _go away_ again, but then more pieces of her brain began connecting back together, and she shivered in sudden apprehension.

"Roxas," Axel was babbling as he scrambled to his feet, "I wasn't, I really, you just, it's all-"

"What are you _doing_?" Roxas demanded in disbelief. Xion couldn't see his face, but she could see Axel's, the horror and shame on it. Unable to bear looking, she struggled to find her own footing, realizing too late how disheveled her clothes were. She hurriedly turned aside to fix them, her face now hot with shame as well. _'Why does Roxas have to ruin it like this...?'_

"Nothing! This is-!" Axel paused, then finished miserably, "...exactly what it looks like."

Roxas turned and walked away without another word, heading for his room.

"Roxas! Please!" Axel immediately hurried after him. The bedroom door shut, closing Xion off from the two brothers. There was a long, painful pause, and then the shouting began.

_'We didn't _betray_ you,'_ Xion thought fiercely, tears stinging her eyes. _'There's nothing to betray! We were just friends, we were never anything more than that, you have no right to get jealous, why can't I have this why can't I have this why can't I have this...?'_

Axel didn't sound like he was defending her or even himself. His voice was too low for her to make out the words, but judging from Roxas's ranting responses, Axel was letting himself be whipped just like he always had since they were kids, except this time it wasn't fun at all.

_'Stand up for us!'_ Xion thought furiously, her heart feeling like it was breaking. _'You're not supposed to act like this! Can't you see that Roxas is being unreasonable? ...Aren't I worth the effort?'_

Finally she couldn't take it anymore; she jammed her shoes back on and fled, not realizing until she was two blocks away that she had left all her stuff at the boys' house. Too late... _'I can't go back now, I _can't_. I can't face them.'_

She stayed up until nearly three o'clock in the morning, because first she was talking to Naminé on the phone about stupid stuff and acting more and more psychotic until she finally freaked Naminé out too much and had to apologize and hang up. Then Olette, the only one she thought she could trust with the truth, but then she couldn't bring herself to say it and ended up babbling about random stuff instead, but then Olette's parents made her get off the phone for the night. Then Kairi, deliberately asking the other girl endless questions about her plans for the dance and latest shopping trips and how she felt about Sora and life in general, until Kairi noticed that something was up and started getting too nosy.

Axel finally called at one point. _"Hey...Xion..."_

"Axel!" Xion shot to her feet, cradling the phone against her ear as if it had become her body's center of gravity. "What- What did Roxas-? What did you-?"

_"Hey, wait, let me talk, okay?"_

"..."

_"Xion...what we did earlier...I-"_

"Don't tell me it was wrong," she said abruptly. "I have _never_ been Roxas's girlfriend. We've never even talked about it. He has no right to be jealous, he doesn't _own_ me, I've loved you always, Axel, I've loved you since I was a _kid_. It's not fair, I can't- Just when I finally- I-"

_"Xi..."_

There was a pause. "You just sat there!" she suddenly shouted. "He was saying all those horrible things to you and you were practically _groveling_! I'm NOT HIS, you can't _steal_ me from him, he doesn't get freaking first dibs on me as if I'm some piece of meat-!"

_"That's not what we meant, Xion!"_

"Then what did you mean! Why can't I pick you? Why do I have to pick _Roxas_? Why do I HAVE to be in love with Roxas just because he's my best friend? He's my BEST FRIEND! I love him - as if he was my _brother_! I have never felt that way about you, Axel, _ever_! Everyone sees and just _assumes_, just because we're close and we're both the same age and good-looking, OH, we just HAVE to be dating, don't we-"

_"Xion, this is not why I called."_

"Why did you call, then!"

_"Because I-"_

"Did you call to apologize? Huh?"

_"I- Sort of- It's like-"_

No. Please don't. "Don't you dare break up with me!" she screamed, suddenly seized with panic. "You're not calling to tell me you don't want me, do you?"

_"...Xion, you've never been my girlfriend, either. You don't have automatic rights to me, either."_

She hung up before she even realized what she was doing. She couldn't stand to hear anymore, couldn't endure what he was going to say next...

She watched movies and played video games until she was so exhausted that her eyes were too blurred to see the screen - or maybe she couldn't see because she had been crying so much, she wasn't sure. Then she fell into bed and slept until noon. Checked her phone instantly before even rolling over - nothing from Roxas; several missed calls from Axel, but no voicemail. A single text: _"xion im sorry_."

She dialed back instantly.

_"Yo, missed me, loser! Leave a message and I'll get back to ya! If I feel like it. *beep*"_

"A-Axel..." She suddenly choked up, not sure what to say, other than, "I'm sorry. Please- I-" The tears were spilling down her face again. "Please...call me..." She abruptly jammed her thumb onto the End Call button and then yelled her frustration into her pillow. "Get it together, Xion!" She rolled over and glared at the ceiling for a minute, trying to compose her next message. Then she called again, heart hammering in her chest with desperate apprehension. _'Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up...'_

_"Yo, missed me, loser-"_

"Don't call me that, STUPIDHEAD!" she screamed back, violently ending the call and just barely restraining herself from hurling her phone across the room. "Grrrugh..."

...She should call Roxas. Didn't want to call Roxas, it hurt to even _think_ about him. "I...need to talk to him. I _need_ to talk to him, we have to get this straightened out before it gets worse," she tried to convince herself. The joints in her fingers seemed to ache with nervousness as she dialed him.

_"Hey, this is Roxas, leave a message I guess. *beep*"_

"..."

_"..."_ the voicemail waited patiently.

"R...Roxas...I..."

_"..."_

Xion squeezed her eyes shut and shoved her thumb hard on the End Call button again, curled up tensely for a minute, then punched her pillow once, twice, three times. It didn't help. "I HATE this! I freaking HATE THIS!"

She crawled out of bed and trudged to the kitchen, poured a bowl of cereal, then sat in front of the TV and tried to kill enough brain cells with _Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers_ to make the endless loop of thoughts stop. _'Roxas hates me, Axel hates me, Roxas hates both of us, I hate both of them, I love them so much and Axel I love you and why can't you love me back and it hurts it hurts it _hurts_...'_

Obviously was not working, so she picked up the remote again. To her disbelief, the exact same Cinderella movie from the previous afternoon was playing again. "NO!" By the time she had found a tolerable show to settle on, she had pretty much finished her cereal.

She tried to veg on the couch, but that was stressing her out more than ever because it gave her too much opportunity to think, or rather for her thoughts to chase each other around and around in a confused, endless loop. So she changed clothes and went out for a run and then came back and showered and turned on her portable console to slay digital monsters until the battery ran low and she ignored it and then her screen went black and she lost all her progress.

She slumped back and sighed deeply, the console slipping from her fingers. "This...is not...how it was supposed to end..."

She should have just kept her mouth shut. Should have kept silent and let things stay like they were. He was in college...she still had over a year left before graduation...he was so far away for so long, his life so distant from hers now, older than her, different friends, different life, might as well be on a different world... "Axel," she whispered. It would have been better, right? Them staying just friends, as if she and Roxas were still kids, would have been better than this whole rotten mess, right?

She called again.

_"Yo, missed me-"_

Hung up. Called Roxas.

_"Hey, this is Rox-"_

Hung up. Squeezed her fist around her phone for a minute, trying to control her frustration. Then was startled when a text came in.

From Roxas.

_"im not talkin to u leaave me alone"_

She ground her teeth, then burst into hysterical, exasperated laughter. _"lol u just did moron"_

Then she sat and stared tensely at her phone, waiting.

...Nothing.

...Nothing...

It was hard to type, her hands were shaking a little. _"roxas im sorry plz pick up when i call?"_

...

...

Nothing.

_"ROXAS!"_

He was totally ignoring her. Xion tried calling him one last time (_"Hey, this-"_), then flung herself up, started marching out the door, realized she was wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt, went back to get dressed, raked a comb through her wild hair, and marched out the door for real this time.

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: Aqua thought they were going to the prom as a group, she didn't realize how Larxene was going to play it.

**I hate to admit this, but the plot was inspired by a hilarious yet totally inappropriate song.** I consider this situation to be fairly acceptable, though, whereas the one in the song...um, NO. *sweatdrop*

Yes, there is an uncensored version. -.-

I need to note that, even though I am Christian myself, I usually don't consider the characters I write in fanfiction to be. Therefore, a lot of times I have to write stuff that's against my personal morals in order to keep characters IC, though I do at least make an effort to keep them to some minimum standards. **Some of the stuff I had to write for this fic was a little painful; for some reason, the worst part for me was that no one attended or even mentioned church on either of the Sundays. :/**

Anyway, so! **Taliax astounded and delighted me by writing me a giftfic out of the blue that was a perfect interpretation of my OTP (**_**Hot Air Balloon**_**, yay for more platonic AkuSai fluff! :D), and I wanted to write a sort of "thank you" fic for her.** AkuShi is her OTP, which...unfortunately happens to be the het romance I hate most in KH, but after what she did for me? SO WORTH IT. I also like challenging myself and experimenting with things, and I'd already been idly OCDing over AkuShi anyway, so this was my chance to combine several writing goals at once.

Well, my ultimate goal had been to write a positively portrayed canon AkuShi romance (which would only be possible for me if Xi's the one going after Axel). I'd already been working on a dark version of that (Axel for Xion, which I never intend to post), but I wanted to see if I was capable of writing a happy one as well. And it...was actually working out, and I like it a lot so far, but eventually I decided that I can't post it, either, no matter how much poor Axel was trying to cooperate with me.

Soooo, I was left with AUs, which isn't really what I wanted, but whatever gets the job done, right? **I squicked myself out so bad writing this**, and even squicked out Tali, who loves this pairing, and I did give up on AkuShi romance as a gift. I reluctantly decided that this was postable, and she liked it enough to not disown it entirely, but **my real thank-you is going to be a 100% platonic fic that I hope to post soon. ^^;;;;** Because Raberba girl + AkuShi romance were just not meant to be. :)


	2. This is not just a fantasy

_He's All I Want_, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl

Part 2 - "This is not just a fantasy." **(ROUGH DRAFT)**

_'It's so late,'_ Xion realized in surprise. It was already long past noon, twilight was approaching. _'So stupid of me, I-'_

The dance was tonight. Started in just a few short hours.

_'I have to hurry! I have to catch him before he leaves!'_ If he was even still planning to go. If he stood up Naminé, Xion would KILL him.

She had a key to their house. Unfortunately, it was _inside_ the house along with all her school stuff from Friday; fortunately, one of the windows was open. Unfortunately, it was the one to Roxas's bedroom.

Xion gritted her teeth and curled her hands into fists as she stared at it. _'You can do this, Xion.'_ After all, they'd climbed through each other's bedroom windows plenty of times before. Just...never under these circumstances. _'Ugh, just _go_, get it over with!'_ She set her hands on the sill and hoisted herself up, maneuvering a little awkwardly to swing her legs inside-

"I can call the police on you for breaking and entering, you know."

She yelped and tumbled into Roxas's video collection.

"You're lucky I'm the only one home." He stood in the doorway, gazing at her with a harder look than she'd ever seen him use on her before. It made her feel like something in her chest was squirming.

He _was_, however, wearing a formal suit, so that part at least was all right. "Are you taking Naminé out to dinner beforehand?" she asked awkwardly as she climbed to her feet and tried stacking the fallen cases back into tidier piles.

Roxas came over and yanked the cases out of her hands, tossing them back on the floor. "Yeah. The guy at the store told me I should, and I figured he knew more about that kind of thing than me. But why should _you_ care? _You're_ not going to the dance, 'cause _you _just wanna stay here all night sucking face with _my brother_."

Xion tried to hit him. He caught her hand and tried to push her down on the bed; she managed to flip around at the last second so that she was squashing him; he growled, almost playfully, and tried to throw her off; and somehow they were wrestling as if they were still kids. By the time they reached a stalemate, her on top again and strategically pinning him as he held her captive by the hair, they were both giggling.

"Stop it, you're gonna mess up my suit," he whined, his eyes sparkling.

"You'd better surrender fast, then," she told him smugly.

"Urgh...fine, but _only_ because I don't wanna be late."

He let her go and she released him. They backed off, suddenly awkward again, but in a much more comfortable, familiar way. Xion rubbed self-consciously at her arm as she stared at the floor. "Roxas..."

"Xion."

There was a long pause.

"I'm-"

"Hey-"

They stopped again.

"You go first," Xion said quickly.

Roxas uncomfortably rubbed the back of his neck. "Xion - you've _always_ liked him? That way?"

She nodded mutely.

His expression was troubled. "Why...why didn't you _tell_ me?"

"Was I supposed to?" she grumbled.

"I thought you liked _me_," he said in frustration.

"When did I ever say that?" she burst out, equally frustrated. "Did I ever make it seem like I liked you? That way?"

"I-I dunno, it's just- We're supposed to end up _together_!"

"_Why_, Roxas? Why can't we just be friends?"

"Because...I don't know." He stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets. His voice was like a child's as he asked, "...Why don't you like me, Xion?"

"Oh, Roxas!" she cried, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. She ran and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "I do like you, Roxas- I _love_ you, I love you so much, but you were never...you were never the one I- You've been my dearest friend in the entire world, and I never wanted that to change, you know? I love you as my _friend_, my best friend, and- Well, it's how I love you best, Roxas. It can't- Well, for me, anyway...we can't get any better than we are now." She swallowed. "I mean...like we were." _'Please tell me we're still friends,'_ her heart seemed to whisper.

He stood there, frowning at the ground, hands resting around her arms for what seemed like ages.

"Roxas?"

He suddenly yanked her close again and pressed his lips hard to hers, holding her head when she instinctively tried to jerk back.

_'What-? No! NO!'_ She struggled in his grip and finally managed to shove him away. He regained his balance and stood there some more, touching his fingertips to his mouth and frowning thoughtfully. "Why did you _do_ that?" she yelled. "I can't believe you _did_ that!"

"...That was disgusting," he finally remarked.

"Uggghhh!" She hit him until he finally came out of his reverie and tried to push her away, wincing.

"Stop, Xi, that hurts."

"Oh, it HURTS! Well I'm so SORRY that I'm DOING something to you that you don't LIKE, you _JERK_!"

"Xion!" he cried, now trying to protect himself in earnest. "Stop it!"

"Stop it! Stop it!" she echoed in a high voice. "You don't _kiss_ a girl when she's resisting you, you STOP!"

"Okay! Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" he cried, now sounding a little plaintive.

Xion lowered her fists and glared at him. He looked a little worse for wear (_'Oops...sorry, Naminé'_), and shamefaced enough to start appeasing her. "Don't. Do that. Again."

"I won't," he said in a small voice. She thought, as she watched him plop back down on the bed with a lost look on his face, that it wasn't her lesson that was making him look so cowed.

After a long silence, she came to sit beside him, keeping a fair amount of space between them. "Roxas?" she finally prompted.

Still staring into the distance, he murmured, "I always thought...you were the one for me. I thought...eventually we'd..."

"You and everyone else," Xion said quietly. "Roxas, I'm...sorry. If I led you on, or made you think things I didn't intend, I'm really, really sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

He finally turned his face to her, meeting her eyes, and the pain in his expression made her heart twist again. "Xion, we were supposed to be together forever," he said. "I couldn't _believe_ it when I came in and saw you and Axel- Why would he do that to me? Xion, I trusted him! I'm his _brother_! How could he do this to me?"

She fidgeted uncomfortably, picking at the hem of her sleeve. "I'm sorry, Roxas. And it...you know I- It was me." Had Axel not told him? Had he protected her? "I don't think it ever would have occurred to Axel if I hadn't...if I hadn't, um, told him..." Hadn't fawned all over him, kissed him - though she hadn't seduced him, had she? She had no idea how to do something like that, she wasn't...she wasn't _like_ that, was she? She loved him. She didn't want to trick him into loving her back, she wanted his feelings for her to be real. Maybe she should have done it differently. Gone slower, not been so insistent...not tried to deliberately draw out that look in Axel's eyes...

"I was the one who changed things first. Roxas, you _know_ Axel. The last thing he'd ever want to do is hurt you." She frowned bitterly. "I'm sure he's off now beating himself up and feeling horrible." _'And wanting nothing else to do with me, because he'll dump me in a second if it means making you happy.'_

"He went off with Saïx," Roxas grumbled. "Saïx is a jerk, but he hates it when Axel's upset, which means he hates _me_ now more than usual. He's probably over there telling Axel what a horrible little brother I am and that he should leave early and never see you again and whatever. I hate him."

"Yeah, he probably is," Xion said glumly. _'Maybe I should have got on Saïx's good side first.'_ Hadn't even occurred to her. Too late now, anyway. And even if it wasn't, that was stupid; she shouldn't have to win over Axel's best friend as if the two of them - three of them, counting Roxas - were possessive wolves fighting over the same territory.

She giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"...Us. _I_ want Axel and _you_ want Axel and _Saïx_ wants Axel - it'd be nice if we could all share him."

Roxas rested his hand on his chin thoughtfully. "You'd think we _could_. It's not like he can ever stop being my brother, and I know he and Saïx aren't into each other that way-"

"How do you know that?" Xion exclaimed, suddenly alarmed at the thought of Saïx being more of a rival than expected.

"'Cause a couple years ago Demyx was totally convinced they were, and him and me and Xigbar used to spy on them all the time-"

"Okay, whatever, I get it," Xion said quickly. "So they're not?"

"I dunno what the heck's up with Saïx, but I know Axel likes girls. And Saïx doesn't care that he does."

Xion narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Wait, I don't get it after all; _how_, exactly did you guys figure out he likes girls?"

It wasn't what she had feared.

"Okay."

"Don't be disgusting, Axel wouldn't do that," Roxas said, face screwed up in distaste. "And _we_ wouldn't do that. At least, me and Demyx wouldn't."

"I was just making sure! You're coming out with a lot of stuff I haven't really thought of before, you know."

"Join the club, Xion! I think I dreamed one time that you and Axel ran off together and got married and left me behind to baby-sit Saïx, who was a puppy for some reason. That was a long time ago, and it was a _nightmare_. I didn't think it would ever _actually happen_."

"You're not gonna have to baby-sit Saïx as a dog, Roxas!"

"You know what I mean!"

"And who said we're getting married? With the way Axel hates me now, I'll be lucky if he ever _speaks_ to me again!"

"He freaking loves you!" Roxas yelled back.

There was a sudden silence as Xion stared at him.

"I _cried_, Xion! I actually _cried_, and he looked like I was ripping his freaking heart out, and he _still wouldn't give you up_!"

Her mouth felt dry, even as her heart was beating fast with hope. "What?"

"He likes you more than he likes me," Roxas growled. "The first time, the first time ever, ever in my life that he doesn't cave, and it's because of _you_."

"I heard plenty of caving yesterday," Xion ground out.

"He was all 'Oh Roxas I'm so sorry blah blah blah,' but did he let me have you? Nope. 'I'm the one she picked and now I have to think about some stuff and I can't just give you what you want because you want it,' like he's my mom or something."

"Forget your mom, it's more like _I'm_ the one who's getting treated like a piece of meat," Xion said hotly. "You 'want' me and he's not letting you 'have' me and, um, excuse me, _where_ exactly is my say in all this?"

"You crawled on top of him when he wasn't expecting it and started kissing the snot out of him. I think your say is pretty clear."

_'Nice job protecting me, Axel,'_ she thought sulkily.

"What is it with you guys and kissing, anyway? You _like_ kissing?"

Her face suddenly felt like it was on fire. "Why do I have to discuss this with you!"

"I guess you really do love each other, since you enjoyed it _sooo_ much," Roxas pouted. Then he sighed. "I guess...if I really was in love with you, I would have enjoyed kissing you, right?"

"You're missing the point, you Neanderthal."

"Huh?"

"The only important part is how much _you_ enjoyed it, right?"

"...So you didn't like kissing me at _all_?"

Urgh, this was so embarrassing, why were they having this conversation? "No, I didn't. I never, ever want to do that again."

"Yeah, me neither. I don't get it."

They were quiet for a while.

"...You're right, though," she finally said. "If you...really loved me, you wouldn't have hated it." Which was kind of an understatement, considering how incredible yesterday afternoon had been. Before Roxas had barged in and messed it up, obviously.

"Have I really been an idiot all this time?" Roxas wondered, aghast. "I always, always, always thought you'd be my girlfriend one day, I just took it for _granted_, and now you're not, and I...I don't know what to do with my life anymore."

"Seriously?" she said in disbelief.

"I mean. I can _do_ stuff with my life. I just thought...you were my girl, Xion. Or at least you were gonna be. But now you're my brother's girl, and I don't know what to do."

She hesitated, then scooted a little bit closer to him. "I'm still your girl, Roxas. Your friend. I'm your friend. No matter what happens with me and Axel, that's never going to change, you know?"

"Yeah," he mused softly. "I guess...I'm okay with that."

She blinked. "You are?"

He shrugged. "I mean...I like you, Xion. A lot. I-" He hesitated, then said very thoughtfully, "I love you. I think I really do, but...yeah, I mean...as long as Axel still likes me...and you're still around...and you both don't get too weird or leave me, then I guess...I guess I don't really mind. I still love you. You don't have to be my girlfriend. I thought you did, but you don't. Just...don't leave me, okay?"

She leaned over to give him a hug. "Never."

It was so nice, being held, having him in her arms, feeling peace slowly descend upon them once again.

"Gah!"

"What?" Xion exclaimed in alarm as Roxas leaped to his feet.

"I'm so late!"

"Ack!"

They rushed around together; Roxas found his keys and the tickets, Xion tried to fix the mess she'd made of his coat when she punched him, and then she tied his tie for him, and he kissed her quickly on the cheek - it felt so natural, the way he did it, dashing off right afterwards - but then he paused in the doorway.

"Hey," he insisted as he turned back to her, "I'm not in love with Naminé either, you know. I'm just taking her to the dance."

Xion sighed, feeling annoyed and relieved and affectionate all at once. "Roxas, it's okay. You can love who you want and you can not love who you want."

Roxas nodded and said, a little experimentally, "I'm not in love with anyone right now."

"Yeah, you just said that."

"I'm not in love, but that's okay." He smiled to himself.

"I thought you said you were late."

"Oh yeah!" He ran all the way out to his car and opened the door, but then paused. He came running all the way back. "Xion!"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really sorry for kissing you. You didn't like it."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"I forgive you."

"Good." He smiled that beautiful, innocent, sweet smile of his, and hurried off again.

_'No wonder Naminé is head over heels. Treat her right, Roxas. I'm trusting you.'_ Xion had broken his own trust, yet...she knew he'd still do his best. And obliviously mess up a lot like the clueless dork he was, but that was okay. Naminé would like him anyway, maybe even because of that.

Xion watched until the car was out of sight, then sighed. _'I should really go home.'_ After all, it was creepy to stay in someone else's house when none of them were home, right? Even if she did have a key. _'Speaking of which...'_

She went over and dug through her stuff, having an irrational urge to make sure the boys' house key was still on her ring. It was. _'No more breaking and entering, or falling into people's video shelves. Hopefully.'_ She fiddled with her purse, backpack, and violin case, debating whether or not to gather them up and take them home.

"Man, Sensei's gonna kill me." She hadn't practiced at all this entire weekend, and she knew from experience that this did not bode well for her practice habits throughout the rest of the vacation. "The concert's coming up soon..."

She could prop the sheet music over on the piano. It would be nicer than the setup she had at home, since her parents were too cheap to buy her a music stand. _'I am totally _not_ procrastinating because I'm hoping Axel'll show up before I leave...'_ ... _'Oh, who am I kidding.'_

She fiddled around slowly, running rosin along the bow and taking her time tuning the instrument as close to perfection as possible. _'Xion,'_ she finally thought impatiently at herself, _'if you're gonna be an idiot, at least do something _useful_ while you're being an idiot, like actually practicing music.'_

Now moving more purposefully, she set up the music and began to play, as the song's lyrics ran through her head. _"Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide...?"_

_'Oh, shut up, Aladdin,'_ Xion thought resentfully, wincing. She had done exactly that, and look where it had gotten her.

The bow suddenly squeaked to a stop against the strings. Yes. Look where it had gotten her. She'd freaked out Axel, what if she wasn't his princess anymore, it wouldn't be a surprise after the mess she'd made of everything- _'I have to get out of here before Axel comes,'_ she thought in a sudden panic.

That exact moment, when her feelings did a complete flip, was also the exact moment when she heard a key turn in the lock of the front door.

_'NO!'_ She must not have heard him drive up while she had been playing. Frantically, Xion dove for the violin case, but then the front door was opening and oh help oh help oh help, green eyes met blue and held for one breathless moment.

_'I CAN'T FACE HIM!'_

Still helplessly gripping her instrument, Xion fled into the next room, which happened to be the kitchen.

"Xi?" Axel called from the front hall.

Xion squeezed her eyes shut.

"Roxas?"

"He left already!" Xion yelled back. _'No! Why did I tell him that? Now he knows I have no reason to be here and how much of an idiot I am!'_

Feeling like a nervous wreck, she opened the refrigerator door, stared at the contents for way too long without actually perceiving what they were, then awkwardly reached for the remains of a cake with one hand as she tried to clasp her violin and bow under the other arm. _'Idiot, idiot, idiot, what are you _doing_, intruders who had screaming fits at the people who live here don't have any right to barge in and eat random stuff out of their refrigerator...!'_

Axel yelled something from the living room. Xion miserably shut the refrigerator door again so that she could hear. "What?" she called back apprehensively.

"Please, please, please tell me you're gonna play this in a concert! I wanna come see!"

She gripped the refrigerator door handle tightly in relieved confusion. "What?"

"OOH! It's a _medley_! 'A Whole New World,' 'Beauty and the Beast'...'Strangers Like- AAAHH! ''! For the _win_!" A moment later, the melody was brought to life by the piano, harmony notes soon joining in.

Xion was grinning without meaning to. Venturing back into the living room, she found Axel at the piano, hands moving skillfully over the keys. She watched until an idea occurred to her.

Hesitantly, Xion tucked the violin back under her chin, wondering how to jump in without it sounding silly that they were both playing the same thing. However, as soon as she picked up on the melody, he transitioned smoothly into a more supportive role. As piano and violin harmonized together, Xion felt breathless with the beauty of the rich music now filling the house. Though Axel hadn't looked at her at all, she could tell he was smiling even as he focused on the sheets before him. It didn't matter that he couldn't see her, that they weren't touching. In this moment, creating this together...it felt like their souls were singing in unison.

_'One page left on the rack,'_ she noticed as they progressed through the piece. _'Is he just gonna stop when we get to the end of it, or improvise even more, or should I try to-?'_

Then an arm APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE and started laying new sheets over the ones they had already played. Xion shrieked and nearly dropped her violin.

Axel played a couple seconds longer, then turned and frowned at her in confusion. "Wow, Xion. He's not _that_ ugly."

Xion stared. "Wh- Why- When did-?"

Saïx adopted a single expression that somehow managed to look annoyed at Xion and simultaneously injured at Axel.

Axel burst into laughter. "Xi, Saïx has been here the whole time."

"Wh-What...? I didn't-!"

"Sai, you really shouldn't creep up on people like that."

"It's not my fault when they choose to be unobservant."

Xion swallowed hard. "You...heard that?" Of course he had. That beautiful melding that she had thought so glorious - it was meant for just the two of them, her and Axel, not an outsider as well. The realization that someone like _Saïx_, of all people, had been intruding while she was unaware...

"Yes."

His tone was unexpected, as was the look on his face. Xion frowned in confusion.

"The two of you...sounded...very well together."

_'Oh, I get it,'_ Xion thought. _'The world must have blown up when I wasn't looking, and now we're all dead in some crazy alternate universe where _Saïx is actually nice_.'_

Axel rose from the piano bench. He laid a hand on Saïx's shoulder as he moved close to him, slightly behind so that Xion couldn't see his face. "Y-Yeah...we did, didn't we. We _do_."

"Yes," Saïx said again, very softly. His face... He wasn't smiling or anything. Not at all. But it was the first time Xion had ever seen him in her presence with an expression that completely lacked any hostility or disdain, either.

She swallowed. "You like Disney music, Saïx?"

"It doesn't make my ears bleed whenever it comes up on Axel's playlists, I can say that much."

"Oh."

"Oh," Axel echoed playfully, leaning back again. "His favorite song is 'Best of Friends' from- _Ow_!"

Saïx's expression showed exactly zero indication that he was the reason Axel was now writhing in pain on the piano bench. _'He's like a robot,'_ Xion thought, aghast. Except that robots didn't blush. And she didn't know what else to call it when Saïx's face, despite the lack of muscle movement, was now definitely more pink than it had been before.

"Will you play something else for us, Xion?" Saïx asked politely, which would have broken her brain a little more if she wasn't so sure he was saying it just to direct attention away from his incongruous taste in music.

"U-Um...okay."

Axel had recovered by the time she picked up the medley where they had left off, and he joined her once again. It wasn't..._breathtakingly beautiful_ the way it had been before she'd known that Saïx was skulking around in the background, but it was still nice. Fun, even. They flowed from song to song in delicious harmony, as Saïx continuously laid out the sheet music for them in a very smooth, unobtrusive way.

_'That really helps,'_ Xion thought in surprise. Not having to reach out and keep flipping through pages mid-song, but also, just...seeing that he was so good at it, and therefore not having to _worry_ about anything but the instrument's music itself. _'That is such a weird thing for someone to be good at.'_

The medley finally came to a close with 'Colors of the Wind.' There was a pause, and then they all smiled at each other. _All_ of them. Xion was shocked at how gentle Saïx's face became with a smile, even just the small one he was now directing mostly at Axel but a tiny bit at her, too.

"Man, why don't we do this more often?" Axel exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Because you live three hours away," Xion pouted.

"Oh yeah...man, now I'm gonna hate living three hours away _even more than before_. I should totally transfer!"

"The only college between here and King U is the Cruella De Vil School of Veterinary Medicine," Saïx pointed out.

"...Vets make good money, right?"

Xion giggled. "Don't worry, Axel. I'm on Spring Break now - maybe me and Roxas can come up and stay with you this week."

"What an excellent idea," Saïx said flatly, as Axel simultaneously crowed, "That is SO PERFECT! Oh my gosh, I should just _take you guys with me_ tomorrow!"

"The Ansem interview," Saïx reminded him. "We can't host anyone until after Tuesday."

Axel groaned. "Tuesday night, then! I'll come back and pick you guys up, okay?"

Xion was about to agree in a heartbeat, but then caught sight of Saïx - only possible because she was so focused on Axel, and Saïx was standing so close to him. That scarred face seemed to be closed down again, even the traces of the smile were gone.

"Axel," Xion said slowly, "you and Saïx are roommates, right? Maybe you should...ask him if it's okay for us to stay with you guys."

Axel's mouth dropped open. Then he looked between the two of them, and smiled.

Saïx's face had seemed to flicker; Xion was amazed at how _alive_ those usually opaque amber eyes seemed for a moment, so...not robot-like. Then it all smoothed out again and he said in his usual monotone, "I make no objection."

She smiled. "Thanks, Sai. That really means a lot to me."

Axel burst into laughter. Saïx glared hard in response to being addressed by the nickname that only Axel had ever called him before, but that was all right. He was Axel's best friend, and she was...she assumed...important to Axel as well. Better to build these bridges now rather than later.

"Means a lot to me, too, bro," Axel said affectionately.

"Anything for you," Saïx responded in his driest tone.

Axel winked. "I know. So, Xi, you skipping out on that dance?"

The way he asked it - he sounded perfectly casual, but she searched his face and could see that the question was anything but. It was much, much more difficult to say it with Saïx standing there watching them both, but she swallowed and forced the words out. "I didn't want to go. Because I'd rather be with you."

Axel swore very softly under his breath, though his eyes were tender as he looked at her.

"There's so little time," she continued. "You're leaving so soon, you think I'd want to waste even a second, much less an entire evening?"

"Xi..." He reached out and took her hands, drawing her close. His voice was so gentle as he murmured, "I'm honored."

"And I'm leaving," Saïx said brusquely, popping the exhilarated feeling that had been swelling in Xion's chest. "It's clear that my presence here is extraneous." He handed Xion her sheet music in a neat pile.

She stared in surprise. When had he gotten them all re-stacked? "You're really good at this," she blurted out as she vaguely waved the sheets, then winced at how stupid that probably sounded.

"Well, he's had lots of practice - he's usually my page turner at school," Axel explained.

"Yes, and I consider it my purpose in life to continue serving you at home, on my vacation, for the enjoyment of you and your new distraction, without getting paid."

"I can pay you," Axel teased, to which Saïx gave him such an _expressively_ annoyed look that Xion seriously wondered, just for a second, if he was telepathic or something.

"I really appreciate it," she said, a little desperately, as Saïx took out his keys. She'd never before seen this side of him that he was now revealing glimpses of, and there were...certain things that were starting to make a little more sense.

"You're welcome," he said shortly, not looking at her.

On impulse, Xion dipped her head over so that his startled eyes had no choice but to meet her upside-down ones. "Roxas had a point, you know. There's no need to fight over Axel - the three of us can share him."

"_What_?" Saïx fumbled, as Axel made an interesting noise in the background.

"I love him one way and Roxas loves him another way and you love him differently, too. Right? Me and Roxas figured out how to make it work. There's enough room for you, too."

He gazed at her without answering. Or frowning.

"What am I, a piece of meat?" Axel was exclaiming.

Xion chuckled. "No more than I am."

"I concede that it's fair," Saïx grumbled.

"_What's_ fair?" Axel demanded anxiously.

"Yeah," Xion answered Saïx, ignoring her beloved in amusement. "You get to _live_ with him and see him all the time at school. You can spare him a little on holidays, right?"

"I suppose so," Saïx grudgingly acquiesced.

"Heeeyyyy, I'm right here, yanno!"

"Especially if we take you with us whenever we go out, right? Whenever we go out with Roxas," Xion clarified hurriedly. She hoped it would be obvious that on certain kinds of dates, Axel would belong just to _her_.

"I'll pass," Saïx said flatly. "I have no interest in the types of..._entertainment_ that you three seem to be so fond of."

"That's only because you've never tried it! I bet you've never gone to a petting zoo in your _life_!"

"She has you there, Sai," Axel said mischievously.

"Quiet."

"I _told_ you I'll make a Brony out of you someday."

"_Never_."

Xion's eyes lit up. "You made him watch _Friendship is Magic_?"

"AXEL."

"He didn't gag as much whenever Applejack was on screen."

"Stop talking before I strangle you with your girlfriend's violin strings."

"Noooo, not Xi's violin! I'll stop, I promise. ...For now."

"*death glare*"

Xion, besides trying to repress the fluttering of her heart from something Saïx had said, started to feel bad about the teasing, so she hugged him. He kept his arms stiffly at his sides and was so completely unresponsive, it was kind of like hugging a tree.

Axel was nearly dying of laughter. "Oh, Xi, his _face_, bwahahahaha...!"

Xion let go and looked up to meet Saïx's eyes again. His death glare probably would have been ten times more intimidating if it hadn't been colored deep pink. "You're my brother now, okay?" she told him. "Like Roxas is. I hope you don't mind too much, because you don't really have a choice about it."

"...I'll get that m- I'll remember that." He sighed very deeply. "I will also leave you in peace, it's already far later than I'd intended to depart."

"You're going back tonight?" she realized, trying not to sound as happy as she felt.

"Yes."

"Want anything for the road?" Axel called, already heading into the kitchen.

"No."

"C'mon, at least some caffeine. It's not a short drive."

"I'll be all right."

"Just hold up a sec, I'll be right back!"

Ignoring him, Saïx moved toward the front door, keys in hand.

"See you later, Saïx," Xion called, wondering if he would pick up on it.

He did. Pausing on the threshold, he stared off into the distance for a while, then finally met her eyes and responded, in a resigned sort of way, "Yes. See you later."

She smiled a little. "I'm looking forward to it." Not really, but she wanted to.

Axel came hurrying out of the kitchen again. "I _said_ to take a soda!" he yelled, shoving it at Saïx's chest.

"I said I didn't want it."

"Were you really gonna leave without saying good-bye?"

"I'm seeing you tomorrow. I didn't think a sayônara was called for."

"Make sure you've got the apartment all nice and spiffy for me when I get back, okay?"

"As if _I'm_ the reason it's always a mess? Clean it up yourself." Saïx finally reached up to grasp the soda. Its condensation left a damp spot on his shirt, over his heart. "Thank you for the caffeine. I'm sure its alertness-enhancing properties will entirely make up for however else it's going to wreck my body."

"You're welcome. See you tomorrow."

They watched Saïx leave together. Even when he was gone, Xion didn't want to move and break this moment, standing here in Axel's arms, surrounded by his warmth and the delicious silence of how alone they finally were.

Softly, he rested his face against her neck. "Xi."

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

His arms squeezed a little tighter around her waist. "For what?"

"I...I handled things so badly yesterday... I shouldn't have screamed at you on the phone."

"You were nervous..._I'm_ nervous."

Surprised, she finally turned around in his arms to face him. His expression as he gazed at her was so gentle, and a little sad. "_You're_ nervous?" she exclaimed. How could that be? He'd had almost a dozen girlfriends that she knew about, he should be completely used to this. Apart from him, she hadn't had a single crush or boyfriend or date or kiss in her life. ...Well, aside from Roxas earlier, but that kiss definitely did not count.

His cheeks colored a little and his eyes slid away from hers, though he still held her close. "This has never...happened to me before."

"What, falling in love?"

"I don't know," he groaned. "Everything else was _fun_. And messy and annoying, whatever; I just...I've never had _this_ before."

"So I'm not fun?" she said, her throat feeling tight. She had messed up, but did he really not enjoy being with her at all?

"Of course not, I _love_ being with you. It's just...this is a little too deep for me to call 'fun.'"

"And what's _this_ anyway?" she asked anxiously.

He fidgeted a little, then suddenly kissed her again, as if that was all he could think of to avoid a question he didn't know how to answer. Not that she could say she minded.

They stood there for a while, leisurely exploring, then both of them finally pulled back with a sigh. "You're really good at this," she grumbled. "I don't have to ask where you got the practice from." Something she tried not to think about, since it was kind of gross, the knowledge that her lips weren't the only ones he'd ever kissed.

She was a little surprised to see him wince. "Xi, I'm...sorry. I wish you were my first."

"It's okay," she mumbled, even though it wasn't, _wasn't_.

"No. Look at me. I wish I'd waited. I didn't realize it could be like this - I wish I hadn't messed around, I wish I could come to you like you're coming to me. You're so...so innocent, I feel...I feel _horrible_, Xi. Like I'm - like I'm getting you dirty or something just by touching you."

She rested her face against his chest. It felt so nice to be in his arms like this, yet she couldn't shake that feeling of sadness. "I love you. As long as you're finally mine, nothing else matters."

"Xi-"

"Axel, you don't know how long I've waited. So long. Maybe it was just a crush when I was a kid, I don't know; but it never went away, it just changed. I've always loved you, watched you, wanted you. I used to get so jealous, watching you walk off with Saïx and leaving me behind, watching you go out with those girls all the time-" He was laughing. "_What_?"

"Roxas and Saïx both said stuff like that, too."

"I'm not Saïx," she huffed. "Or Roxas."

"I know," he said soothingly, kissing her temple. "I know. It's just...I'm kind of disgusted with myself now. I kept putting what I _wanted_ before anything else, I wasn't thinking about my future or the people I really love most...I'm so selfish, and it's _disgusting_."

"It's okay. Be with me _now_, and it'll be okay."

"I'm sorry, Xi..."

"I'm sorry, too," she said in exasperation. "There. We're both sorry. Let's move on, okay?"

He smiled, reaching up to stroke his hand through her hair. "Okay."

They stood for a while in silence, simply enjoying each other's presence.

"Roxas called me," Axel finally said. "That's why I came home - he'd been ready to kill me the last time I saw him. Or cry some more." He winced. "I'm actually not sure which one I would have preferred."

"You let him walk all over you yesterday," Xion said resentfully. "Why didn't you defend yourself?"

"Come on, Xi. I felt like _crap_, my little brother had just walked in on me with the girl we both thought he was in love with. Wouldn't you have felt the same?"

"I'm an only child," she grumbled. "I wouldn't know."

"Roxas," Axel said firmly, "means more to me than _anything_. So do you, of course, but Roxas is my _little brother_. I'd rather _kill_ myself than hurt him, you know what I'm saying?"

"You did hurt him," she pointed out, "and you didn't kill yourself."

He looked away. "I kinda wanted to. I felt that horrible. And even if he's right about never really being in love with you, I wouldn't flaunt this in his face. It's just...it's just that I realized last night, when he was crying and I felt like my heart was being ripped to shreds...he kind of owns me, and I don't - think that's okay. I love him, but I don't...think...it's supposed to be like that, the way he's able to...control me. Like that."

"I think you're right," she mumbled, fidgeting guiltily. She and Roxas had always been able to get Axel to do what they wanted. Remembering some things now from when they had been children, or even in more recent years...it was occurring to her that maybe they hadn't been treating him right.

"I mean," Axel went on, "whenever it comes down to it, I am _me_. No one else. My sacrifices should be out of love for the people I care about, not because I'm trying to...make things up to them. Or because I'm scared they'll leave me otherwise. I...I can't...just blindly let Roxas dictate my life. I can't rely on him so much, because then he's not free, either."

Xion smiled. "Roxas said pretty much the same thing, you know."

"Huh?"

"After school yesterday, before...you know. He said he didn't want my help getting something for Naminé, because he relies on me and you too much. He said he had to start learning how to do things himself. That's why he dropped me off here and went out on his own." She giggled. "He probably went and bought something _awful_ for Naminé..."

Axel laughed. "She'll love it anyway, though."

"I'm sure she will."

"Roxas said the two of you made up."

"He's such a dork," Xion giggled guiltily.

"I know...he's frickin' adorable. You both are."

"I'm not as spacey as Roxas," she pouted.

"No, but sometimes when the two of you are together..."

"You don't see us the same way, do you?"

He winked. "Not anymore."

"But you did before?"

"...Kind of. I mean...you were like my little sister. You were so cute- Still are," he added hurriedly. "I wanted to hug you and protect you and goosh over you forever. You two were my...refuge. I knew, whenever I came home, that you would be there, waiting for me." He paused. "I think I took your love for granted."

"...You can still do that," she said softly, brushing her fingertips against his mouth. "You know what I mean. I'll always love you, always. Pretend I might not, but know that I will."

He kissed the fingers on his lips. "I've always loved you, too. Not the same way, but...be patient and help me learn, okay?"

She smiled, and stood up on her toes to kiss him again. "Okay."

_To be concluded..._

Author's Notes: **I got the idea of Axel being a pianist from Taliax, who in turn got it from Jcthegirl.** ^^ I'd been wanting to try out the idea for a while, and this was my first chance.

Lol, maybe Jasmine went on to become a professional singer after high school, and recorded "A Whole New World" with Aladdin? XD

**"Sayônara" in Japanese actually has connotations of "good-bye forever" or for a long time, it's not usually a casual farewell.** Also, "sensei" means "teacher."

**I don't know much about page turners, and I've never seen the movie. :/ Sorry about any inaccuracies...**

I've actually only seen the first ten or eleven episodes of _Friendship is Magic_. It's cute (Pinkie Pie FTW! 8D), but I don't really consider myself to be a big fan. MLP is really fun to reference, though. ;)

**I actually do like RokuShi (WAY more than AkuShi or even RokuNami, lol), but supporting them as a romantic couple here would obviously defeat the purposes of this fic. XD**


	3. I'm in love with you

_He's All I Want_, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl

Part 3 - "I'm in love with you." **(ROUGH DRAFT)**

They both - reluctantly - decided it would probably not be the best idea to stay alone in the house much longer, but Xion really, really did not want to go home.

"Let's go out," Axel decided.

"Huh?" Her heart immediately started beating quickly from excitement. _'Our first date? Already?'_

"Roxas is at that dance, right? You want me to take you there?"

She blushed. "I don't know," she said honestly. It might be a little weird, showing up with a college guy in tow. And it might not be nice to Roxas, giving him so little time to adjust before he had to see them together. And she wasn't sure she was ready to let her friends know about all this yet...

"Hmmm, lessee, movie, dinner, clubbing-"

"Not clubbing," she blurted out in alarm.

He laughed. "I know, I was kind of joking. Heh, too bad all the petting zoos are closed, too."

Xion snorted with laughter. "Let's just go somewhere and hang out. As long as I'm with you, I don't really care."

"My feelings exactly."

Then she frowned. "Actually, I am kind of hungry. I think I...forgot to eat lunch."

"I didn't really eat, either, even though Sai practically shoved the plate in my face. Too distracted. Can't do that, bad Axel, I'm gonna get in trouble with my weight again," he scolded himself in a mutter. "Well, Xi, you up for tacos?"

"I'm kind of up for ice cream," she mused.

"Tacos first, _then_ ice cream," Axel said firmly. "Don't wanna end up like I was last year..."

They didn't get back until nearly one o'clock in the morning, and it would have been later if the shops hadn't kept closing and kicking them out. It was so nice just to _talk_, now that things were different between them and there were no activities or extra companions to cause distractions. And now that...

"Axel?"

"Hm?"

"You know...what Saïx said earlier?"

Axel chuckled. "He said a lot of things. Was it about the vet school, the page turning, or the ponies?"

"When he said he'd strangle you with...erm, with my violin strings," she tried and failed to say casually, feeling her face go hot with anxious pleasure.

"Come to think of it, he does give me an awful lot of death threats..."

Xion silently drew in a deep breath. _'Stop hesitating and be blunt,'_ she told herself firmly. _'It's not a big deal like you're making it out to be.'_ "He said, 'Stop talking before I strangle you with _your girlfriend's_ violin strings.'"

"Oh yeah." After a pause, Axel smiled questioningly. "What about it?"

"...You didn't say I wasn't your girlfriend."

"That's because you are."

Xion could not help smiling hugely, feeling her face fade into a softer, happier glow.

"Right?" Axel added, now sounding a little worried.

"Of course," she said at once, "just wanted to make sure." She gave him a quick kiss below the ear and threaded her fingers through his. He smiled and wrapped his other arm around her waist to draw her closer, though that wasn't exactly possible since she was sitting so close already.

"Glad we're on the same page."

"Yup."

Even after they returned, they didn't go straight inside - Axel's parents were finally home and neither of them wanted to deal with that yet, so they walked around the neighborhood hand in hand, talking even more. On their third circle around, they noticed that Roxas was back, too.

They stood together at the top of the driveway, staring at the house, hands clasped tightly, not saying anything.

"We should go in," Xion finally murmured.

He swallowed. "Yeah."

They stood there some more. The lights in the living room went off.

"We really should go in, I think."

"Yeah..."

Both of them jumped when Axel's cell phone finally rang. He stared at the caller ID. "It's Roxas."

"You should answer it," she said quickly.

He shut his eyes and thrust the phone at her. Giggling very nervously, she accepted the call and set the volume on speaker mode. "Roxas?"

_"Xion?"_

"Hi."

_"I thought I called Axel."_

"You did."

_"Oh. Okay. That _is_ you two skulking up at the top of the driveway, right?"_

"Yeah."

_"Well, get inside already. Mom thinks you're a couple of creepers scoping out our house to rob or something."_

"Oh no!" Xion exclaimed, both horrified and trying not to laugh. "Tell her it's us."

_"Okay."_

"We'll be right in."

_"Okay. Hey, is Axel there?"_

"I'm here," Axel whispered.

"He's here," Xion repeated, knowing there was no way Roxas would have been able to hear that.

_"Can I talk to him?"_

"Sure," Xion started to say, then frowned in confusion when Axel began frantically shaking his head at her. She returned the volume to normal and set one palm against Axel's face to hold him still, pressing the phone to his ear with the other.

After a long silence, Axel finally said to his brother, "Yeah, I'm here. ... Sorry. ... I...just...we've just been walking around, talking. ... I dunno. ... Yeah, I'll...sure. We'll be right in. ... What? No, I'm fine!"

"No, you're not," Xion whispered in amusement, though she also felt a little sorry for him.

"_Yes_, I'm fine," Axel continued. "It's just static or something. Look, I'll...I'll see you inside, okay?"

It was actually Axel's mother who met them at the door, bursting out to throw her arms around his neck. "Where have you _been_? I was so worried!"

"Mom!" he cried in horror, throwing a pained glance at Xion, "I'm not a _kid_! Why are you still doing the curfew thing!"

"You don't have a _curfew_," she fussed, picking at his shirt and hair even when he tried to brush her away, "but you're still my _son_, and I _worry_ about you when you're _finally home_ and I don't see you for _hours and hours and hours_ and you don't _bother_ to tell me where you _went_- Oh, hello, Xion, dear."

Xion smiled back. "Hello."

"You could have said you'd be out late!" Axel's mother cried, fixing her attention back on him.

"I...sorry, okay, I'll tell you next time," he mumbled, trying to pull her hands down as she stroked his face. "Please stop _touching_ me!"

"You're really all right?"

"Mom! I didn't get hit by a bus or anything, we just went to get ice cream!"

She wrapped her arms tightly around him and kissed the side of his head. Axel went limp in her embrace in a resigned sort of way. "No matter how big you get, you'll always be my baby," she murmured anxiously into his hair.

"Mom, I am _begging_ you..."

"You're not going out again, are you?"

"No, I'm not," he said in exasperation, struggling free again.

"Mom, it's okay," Roxas finally spoke up. "You can go to bed, I'll keep an eye on them."

His mother seemed to take this as an invitation to wrap Roxas in her arms this time. "My babiiiiieeees!"

"I'm not a baby!" Roxas insisted. "I went on a real date with a real girl!"

"I'm so proud of you," she sobbed, kissing his head.

Still trapped in her embrace, Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Go to bed soon, okay? Don't stay up too late."

"Okay."

"You too, Axel," she told him.

"Sure, mom. Geez, you really didn't need to wait up late for me."

"I _told_ her I'd stay up for you guys," Roxas said, "but she insisted."

His mother abruptly let go and seized both of her sons by the ear. "I'm going to bed now, but you be good hosts for poor Xion! She's been standing here all this time and you haven't even offered her anything to eat or drink!"

"Ow, ow, ow!"

"Mom, I will, let go, argh!"

Yanking them close to kiss them both, then smiling at Xion and waving, the boys' mother finally went off to the back hallway.

"Xion," Axel said pointedly, rubbing his ear, "even though we _just got back_ from pigging out on tacos and ice cream, would you like something to eat or drink?"

"No, thanks," she laughed.

"You went for ice cream without me?" Roxas exclaimed in dismay, and Axel squirmed.

"Umm...yeah...sorry..."

"It was a _date_, Roxas," Xion said firmly. "With my boyfriend. The three of us can go out for ice cream some other time just as friends."

Roxas sighed dramatically. "Fine. I see how it is."

"Why are you acting like this is not a normal thing?"

"Because I still think it's stupid you guys had to mess things up like this..."

Roxas looked oblivious, but Xion noticed Axel, the way he was gazing at his younger brother, and felt a little exasperated. She thought they'd already gone through all this. "Rox," she said. "Do you really have a problem with me and Axel going out now?"

"I dunno," Roxas grumbled sulkily, not meeting their eyes.

Axel was still silent.

"Roxas," Xion said, taking his arm and pulling him close.

Roxas finally looked up and realized how his brother was staring at him. "Axel?"

"...Roxas, I'm...sorry."

Roxas smiled in a slightly confused way. "It's okay. I still think it's dumb, but really, it's ok-" He had started reaching out vaguely, and was startled when Axel abruptly seized him in a tight hug, hiding his face against his shoulder. "Axel?" Roxas said in surprise. There was a long silence, then Roxas smiled and patted his brother's back. Xion realized that Axel was crying a little.

"It'll work out," she said.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you and stuff last night," Roxas realized. "I think I made too big a deal out of it." He thought a minute, since Axel did not seem to be in a hurry to let go of him. "Oh, and Xion, I'm sorry for ignoring you all day."

"That's okay."

Axel was still hugging him.

"Is there anything else I need to apologize for?" Roxas wondered helplessly. "Because I already apologized for-"

"No, that's it," Xion said quickly, not wanting Axel to hear what Roxas was probably thinking. "And Roxas, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about all this sooner."

"That's okay. I'll get used to it."

They both finally looked at Axel, who slowly lifted his head and said shakily, "I love you, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Me too. So since I got kicked out of your ice cream date, can we have ice cream again now together? We're out of sea-salt because _someone_ keeps snarfing it down every three hours, but I think there's still some cookies-and-cream left in the freezer."

"Of course, Roxas," Xion said warmly.

They asked him how the dance went, and Xion in particular was very curious to know how Roxas had handled Naminé in light of all the...recent events.

"Aw, man, I just got finished being grilled by Mom about the whole thing. *sigh* Okay, well, I was late because SOMEONE came creeping through my window to distract me, but Naminé was cool about it, she said it was okay, and her brother made some joke about how at least this way I didn't get stuck in the living room for twenty minutes getting the 'shotgun lecture' from their dad while waiting for her to finish doing her hair." Roxas paused. "I have no idea what he was talking about. Do _you_ know what he was talking about, Axel?"

"Looks like we're going to have to have another Life Lesson soon... We'll do it later, keep going."

Xion giggled.

"...Okay. So we went to dinner, but since we were really late we were also really late for the dance, and the whole place was packed when we came in-"

"Wait, the restaurant was, or the school?" Xion interrupted.

"The school."

"But what happened with dinner? You skipped the entire dinner!"

"What's there to tell? We just _ate_, and _talked_. Oooh, so exciting," Roxas said sarcastically.

"Well, did you _like_ talking to Naminé?" Xion probed in exasperation.

"I dunno. I guess. She likes to draw. She drew a picture of me. It kind of looks like a kindergartener's drawing, but it was still kind of cute, so I kept it." Roxas pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it to show them. "See?"

"D'awwww," Axel cooed in amusement.

"It is kind of cute," Xion agreed, laughing.

"So ANYWAY, we went to the dance and we were really late and it was kind of crowded, but Kairi, like, pounced on us almost as soon as we came in. Naminé was, like, all shy and everything, so we went to dance in a corner, except she can't really dance and I don't really know how to dance either, and Sora dances like a chicken with rabies, so Kairi brought him over and she taught all three of us." Roxas paused again, staring at his brother and best friend. "Why are you guys _laughing_ like that?"

Xion was trying and failing not to cackle. Very attractive. Oh well; Axel didn't look like he minded. "Because I can just imagine it."

"Flaming pants, I wish I could have seen that," Axel chortled. "Man, there is _so much stuff_ I never taught you..."

"Ohhh, so _you_ can dance, Axel?" Xion said, half-teasing and half-delighted.

"Of course! What do you take me for? I'll have to show you sometime soon."

"This week," she suggested happily.

"Yep, this week. I'll take you out dancing, and some other time I'll take you _both_ out dancing, Rox, and we'll get this taken care of."

"I'm looking forward to it," Xion said gladly.

"Yeah, that would be cool," Roxas agreed.

Afterwards, it was Xion's turn to get kicked out, since Axel said she probably _really_ shouldn't stay in the house all night, and it felt weird now to even think of sleeping with Roxas. So she went home. Axel was a gentleman and escorted her, and he kissed her on the front porch just like in the movies, but then she had to watch him walk away into the darkness.

Despite having gone to bed so late the last two nights, she was up again the next morning at 7:00, even without her alarm clock having been set. "Xion?" her mother exclaimed in the kitchen, "Where are you off to this early on a weekend?"

"Boys' house," Xion replied as she slathered jelly on a piece of toast.

"But you were just _over_ there! You've been with them all week!"

"It's Axel's last day!" Xion responded frantically. "Mom, please! He's leaving this afternoon, this is the _last chance I have_ to see him." Until Tuesday, but her mother didn't need to know that at the moment...

"Well...all right, but I'd like to see you too sometimes, you know."

Guiltily, Xion went over and kissed her mother's cheek. "I'm sorry, Mom. You want to rent a movie to watch tonight?"

Her mother smiled and affectionately brushed her hair out of her eyes. "Whatever you like, dear."

Xion squirmed a little, then added, "By the way...since it's Spring Break, Axel was wondering if maybe he could bring me and Roxas up on Tuesday night to stay with him the rest of the week..."

Her mother's eyes narrowed a little. "So you, a minor, would be staying, unsupervised, with several young men for _how_ many days and nights?"

Why did she have to make it sound so bad? "Mom, come _on_. I've known Axel and Roxas since we were little kids, nothing bad's going to happen."

"In a college town without a chaperone, I don't think so. You should be lucky I don't work full-time and can take days off so easily."

"Wait - don't tell me you're planning to _come_ with us?" Xion cried in horror.

"Either that or you're not going, period. Your choice."

Xion groaned. Axel was worth it, and she was pretty sure they'd all understand, but..._urgh_!

This time, Xion did have her key, and barged in as if she was part of the family before realizing that the boys' mother had risen early as well. Mrs. Hayes-King treated her as if she _was_ part of the family, hugging her and insisting that she eat some pancakes before Xion was able to escape to the back of the house.

Where Axel & Roxas were both still fast asleep. "You _guys_! Wake _up_ already! Time's wasting!"

Eventually she was able to drag them out of bed, and they all shuffled into the kitchen to eat a leisurely breakfast together. It was Xion's third morning meal, but whatever. "Mom's insisting on coming with us on Tuesday," she complained. "Guys, I'm sorry, it's just that she kept going on about me being unchaperoned in an apartment full of _boys_ and everything..."

"We wouldn't try anything like th-!" Roxas started to exclaim in shock. Then suddenly glanced over at his brother and glared. Axel stuffed half a bagel in his mouth in what looked like an attempt to hide his sheepish grin.

"_I_ think it's a perfectly reasonable idea," their mother declared, reaching out to hug Xion firmly to her side. "Of _course_ my babies are perfect gentlemen, but if I _did_ have a daughter, I'd _hate_ the thought of my precious princess staying all alone with a bunch of _young and virile_ men..."

Axel snorted.

"I hope Saïx won't mind," Xion ventured anxiously.

"Nah, I'll have it covered by then. He might even have been planning to camp out at Lex's place anyway, I dunno. It'll work out, don't worry about it."

Xion and Roxas helped Axel pack afterwards, the three of them retrieving toiletries that had been scattered all over the house and then lounging around his room to leisurely fold clothes (actually, Xion was doing most of that, since the boys tended to just toss everything into haphazard heaps). It was amazing, in an awful way, how quickly time seemed to pass when they weren't really doing anything.

"Oh! Speaking of which, I forgot to ask you last night; didn't you end up kissing Naminé good night when you dropped her off?"

"Ew, of course I didn't kiss her," Roxas exclaimed. "Kissing's gross."

"That's because the only girl you've ever kissed is _me_," Xion said in exasperation, without thinking. Then she gasped a little, throwing a quick alarmed glance at Axel. Axel went on wrapping up his laptop cord for a couple more seconds, then suddenly paused, a strange look crossing his face.

"Well...I guess it _did_ kind of feel like kissing my sister or something," Roxas was musing.

"Wait - Roxas, you've kissed her?" Axel said sharply. Then suddenly shoved a hand through his hair in a way that covered his eyes and muttered under his breath, "Of course he has, why wouldn't he, who knows what they've been up to all that time when you were _gone_, totally _oblivious_, like a stupid, stupid _idiot_..."

"Yeah, yesterday when she climbed through my window."

There was an awkward pause.

"It was one-sided," Xion finally said, torn between hiding her shame from Axel, being indignant at Roxas for making her feel like she had anything to be ashamed about in the first place, and trying to not make Roxas look quite so bad. "Very, very, very one-sided."

"I said I was sorry," Roxas complained. Then he paused and said thoughtfully, "Though you've been kissing Axel a lot, too, so that's almost kind of like kissing my own-"

"You know what," Axel said abruptly, "for the sake of my mental health, let's change the subject."

"Please," Xion said gratefully.

"You think it really would have been different kissing Naminé?" Roxas wondered.

_'Way to change the subject, Rox,'_ Xion thought in exasperated amusement.

"First off," Axel pointed out, "did she look like she _wanted_ to be kissed?"

"How should I know? I don't know when I'm not supposed to kiss girls until after I'm kissing them. When they hit me, that means stop."

"..."

"It's okay, Axel, really," Xion said hurriedly, in response to the look on her boyfriend's face. "We worked everything out, it's fine now."

"Little brother," Axel said firmly, scooting closer, "looks like I've once again been a fail and neglected to teach you some things." With some insider's perspective from Xion, they covered stuff like 'Is she drawing attention to her mouth or looking at yours?' and 'See how long she fidgets with her keys' until Axel and Xion finally realized that it was a bit awkward - and funny - discussing such a thing in each other's presence.

"Ohhh, so _that's_ why she took forever to go inside," Roxas realized as Axel watched Xion blush. "I get it now."

"...You know what, whatever," Axel finally said to her, "I'll just ask you straight out if you wanna be kissed."

"Assume that'll be all the time," Xion said with a grin.

Roxas wrinkled his nose. "Ugh, do you guys _have_ talk about this while I'm here?"

"Oh," they teased, "so _you_ get to talk about kissing Naminé until our eyes glaze over, and we don't get to return the favor?"

"Fine," he grumbled, "I'll stop. Except, all those rules seem really dumb and complicated. I'm just gonna ask her if she wants to be kissed like you said, Axel."

"N-No!" Xion gasped, trying hard not to laugh at the thought of Naminé's reaction. "You can't do that...!"

"Well, why not?"

Axel had not brought much, so it didn't take long to pack his things. They lingered over lunch, which the boys' father was awake to join them for by this time, and considered going out again, except their mother threw a fit about them _leaving_ her all _alone_ when this was the last time she'd get to _see_ her eldest baby for _weeks and weeks and weeks_. So they hung around the house talking and getting dragged into last-minute house repairs and talking and getting distracted by funny videos on the Internet and talking some more, until Axel finally looked out the window and realized dusk was starting to fall.

"Holy cow! How is it getting dark already?"

The time Xion had been dreading had finally come. Her heart, so elated while getting to spend time with the person she loved, now seemed to sink as everyone milled around, reluctantly seeing Axel off. As Xion approached the front door, feeling with an odd keenness how alone she was with everyone else outside, she was startled when Axel suddenly met her at the threshold.

"Axel?"

He smiled a little and shut the door behind him. Her heart seemed to beat a little faster.

"Hello, princess."

"Good-bye, you mean," she murmured.

He gazed at her a little longer, then held out his arms; she immediately stepped into his embrace without any conscious thought. Their lips met in a moment of perfect, sweet, heart-wrenching farewell-

The door opened again, and Roxas nearly crashed into them. "Oh, gross! Would it kill you guys to give me some warning?" he yelped as he backed out again and slammed the door shut.

Axel and Xion burst into laughter, even though she also kind of wanted to get Roxas's neck between her hands. Speaking of her hands-

"Ow!" Axel cried, reaching up to his hair, where her fingers had gotten tangled.

"Sorry! _Urgh_, you need to lighten up on the hair gel..."

Between them, they managed to free her fingers, after which Xion had to fight laughter again as she observed his heavily-skewed spikes. "Oh, Axel," she muttered affectionately, trying to shove them back into place.

"Oi, oi, oi, you're messing up my hair!"

"It was already messed up, silly."

"But-! Argh!"

When they came outside, Axel's mother hurried over. "Are you two all right? Why wouldn't Roxas let us in?"

"We're fine," Xion assured her quickly, as Axel saluted Roxas and Roxas put his hands on his hips in a self-important pose.

"Yeah, I'm good to go," Axel said heavily, and was immediately engulfed in a hug from his mother.

"I'll miss yoooouuuuuu, _sooooo muuuuuuch_!"

"I'll miss you, too, Mom," he said in a longsuffering tone.

His father came over to clap him on the back, Axel gave Roxas one last huge hug ("Urgh, Axel, can't breathe!"), and then his eyes met Xion's again.

"I'll miss you," she said softly, resting a hand over her own heart.

Axel came over to hug her, too, though more gently than usual. "Love you, princess," he whispered in her ear. One last quick, hidden kiss on her cheek, then he was leaving, calling out a merrier goodbye to all of them in general, getting on his motorcycle, finally heading off. Gone.

Long after the boys' parents had gone inside, Xion stayed watching at the top of the driveway, even though she knew she wouldn't be able to see him anymore.

"It's just two days," Roxas said, coming up from behind to hesitantly put his arms around her.

"Yeah," she said softly.

"Two days, and we'll get to see him again."

"Yeah."

There was a long silence, then Roxas squeezed her tighter. It did feel nice to be hugged, even if it was by her brother rather than his brother.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked in a small voice.

Oops. Xion turned around and hugged him back. "Yeah. Just two days. It's stupid to get all lovesick and heartbroken because of that, right?"

"Yeah," Roxas said, though he looked anxious as he studied her face.

She smiled. "Take me out somewhere to distract me, okay?"

"Okay. So we can still play and stuff like we used to, right?"

"Yup."

"Good. Because I kind of missed you, too. Even though you were here, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Sorry, Rox."

"It's okay. As long as we're still best friends." He paused. "We _are_, right?"

"Of course we are." She affectionately brushed a few spiky locks out of his eyes. "That's how it's supposed to be."

He smiled, looking much happier. "Yep. Just making sure you knew it, too."

In unison, they suddenly whirled and raced each other back to the house as if they were little kids, laughing all the way.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: Let's end it with some RokuShi, shall we? ;)

So. This fic's finally over. NEVER AGAIN. You might still see some AkuShi romance from me in the future, especially that stuff inspired by _Fire & Moonlight_, but I really had a terrible struggle writing this story. It was definitely worth it this time, and Tali you're a darling (and your encouragement is the super reason why this was finished and published so fast XD), but I can't do this again as a gift or for a request or anything, for anyone, for any reason. ^^;

And once again, this was intended to be a one-shot. The problem with overgrown one-shots is that it's extremely difficult for me to find places to break them into chapters every time they pass a 10,000-word mark. The characters I work with seem to love to talk and talk and talk and talk _so_ much. *sweatdrop*


	4. Extra AkuSai Scene

_He's All I Want_, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl

Extra AkuSai Scene **(ROUGH DRAFT)**

A/N: Because I'm a diehard fangirl whose love for my OTP cannot be repressed. (Especially since they're platonic and will therefore work _everywhere_, regardless of any other ships, mwahahahaha.) And because Saïx was jealous and wanted more screentime with his favorite person, and I agreed with him. And because it ended up being necessary anyway, yay!

**This takes place around the time Xion wakes up on Saturday and is trying to get hold of Axel & Roxas.**

o.o.o

"...and this is just a friendly suggestion, but if I were you, I'd stay as far away as possible." Saïx calmly took another sip of coffee.

Axel stared. "I could go to jail just for _that_?"

"Until her eighteenth birthday, yes."

Axel buried his face in his hands. "What am I gonna do...?"

Saïx frowned and set down the mug. "Do you really like her that much?"

"...Sai, you weren't there."

"Axel, you _just met her_."

Axel's head shot up again. "What are you talking about? This is Xion! I've known her for _ages_!"

"I meant that this is new. As of yesterday afternoon. Until _hours_ ago, you felt nothing more for her than the affection of an older brother."

"That was before I found out how amazing it is to kiss her."

A look of revulsion crossed Saïx's face. "So you can go from thinking of her as a little sister to thinking of her as desirable, just like that?"

Axel squirmed a little. "I mean...I did still think of her as a kid...I dunno, it's just, she kind of grew up on me when I didn't notice. She's still so little and has no boobs, but the way she was lying there...like, I mean, she was _planning_ it, I swear that was no little girl, and I am never, ever going to be able to see her the same way again..."

"Please stop talking before I throw up," Saïx mumbled, pushing away his coffee.

Axel's phone rang. Again.

"Don't answer it," Saïx said at once.

"I'm not!"

They sat there in silence as the seconds crawled by, both tensely listening to the ringtone.

"Reject the call," Saïx finally said.

"...But I like this song."

"Don't give me that nonsense. Press the button."

Reluctantly, without looking at the screen, Axel pulled out his phone again and killed the call before it could even go to voicemail.

"See? That wasn't hard."

"You have no idea what I'm feeling right now," Axel growled.

Saïx sighed. "That is admittedly true. You realize that you're just offering yet more confirmation for me, right?"

"You know, Sai, I try to envy you, I really do, but...I can't. It flaming _hurts_, but I couldn't give it up for the world."

"Then we shall just have to agree to differ on yet another matter."

"I still say I'm going to make you a Brony," Axel said half-heartedly. "Someday. Eventually."

"I'd sooner sing a duet with Jasmine Sultana."

"I bet you 200 munny you'd be begging for Hasbro if someone ever actually got you into a recording studio."

"..."

"Seriously, Sai, you're really ridiculous about that. You have the voice for a vocal performance degree, but as far as I know, I'm the only person outside your family who's ever heard you sing for real. _Why_ are you wasting yourself in music education?"

"I happen to find it a more interesting area of study. And by the way, I doubt your implication is politically correct, that teaching young people about music is a waste of time."

"That's not what I meant!"

Axel's phone rang again.

"_Don't_ answer it."

"I'm _not_!"

"Then why are you taking it out?"

"Xion isn't the only one who calls me, moron! What if it's Roxas?"

"You still have plenty of time to talk to Roxas face to face."

"Not if you've got me here at your house all day and he's gone at that dance all night, then we'll only have tomorrow left..."

"If it was Roxas, or anyone else for that matter, you would have answered the phone by now."

Axel didn't respond.

"Stop looking at it. You don't need the temptation, just put it away."

Axel ended the call. Then set the phone down on the table between them and stared at it longingly.

"You don't need to keep it out. Put it away."

"Don't tell me what to do, man! You're not my boss."

"However, I _am_ your best friend, and I'm trying to help you."

"Then why am I so miserable?" Axel snarled.

"Perhaps hormones are to blame."

"Well, _sorry_ for being a normal human being instead of a perfect, know-it-all alien like you."

Saïx lifted the mug again and sipped more coffee.

"...Sai, I didn't mean that."

"...You're right, I'm being self-righteous. I apologize."

"I'm-"

Axel's ringtone went off again.

There was a tense pause.

Then Axel suddenly dove for the phone, but before he could reach it, Saïx snatched it up and slipped it into his back pocket.

"Gimme my PHONE!"

"I'll hold onto it for a while."

"It's MINE!" Axel lunged around the table and tried to retrieve his phone as Saïx fended him off. After a few seconds of struggle, Axel had Saïx's left arm pinned against the wall as Saïx gripped his other wrist, keeping the outstretched fingers just short of touching their target.

"I _swear_ I will punch you if you keep groping me."

"I'll stop grabbing your butt when you _gimme back my phone_."

Their eyes met in a fierce glare.

The ringtone abruptly went silent.

"Gaaahhhh!" Axel wailed, falling back and slumping in the seat next to Saïx. "You're so friggin' _mean_!"

"...Axel," Saïx confessed softly, "I lied to you earlier."

"What?"

He sighed. "She's nearly eighteen, and you're only a couple of years older than her. You wouldn't get in much trouble, if any, particularly if you avoid intercourse itself."

Axel stared. Then he lunged at Saïx again, who didn't resist this time and did not meet his eyes. "You-! You're-!"

"...Jealous," Saïx mumbled.

Axel stared some more. Then suddenly backed off and rambled breathlessly, "Don't tell me you lied about that, too, because Xion's already messed with my head enough for a lifetime, I don't need _you_ going weird on me on top of everything else-"

"I meant in a general way," Saïx said in annoyance. "Why does everyone keep jumping to conclusions? Can't I value your friendship without also wanting you as a lover? _If_ I was even interested at all - which I'm not, I wasn't lying about that - I'd prefer women. It doesn't matter. I can still be jealous of those children who've been fighting me for your attention all these years."

"Oh, come on, you're my best friend. We live together. I don't exactly neglect you."

"The moment you arrived home, you acted as if I'd fallen off the face of the earth. And not just this week, it happens every single time."

"Look, I said I was sorry for forgetting about Isa's-"

"I _miss_ the old days, Axel. Back when it was just the two of us, before your parents remarried and your brother and his little friend started invading or ruining every single one of our plans."

"The kids weren't...that bad. I thought they were cute."

"I didn't."

Axel gazed at him, silently glaring.

"...I'm sorry."

"Have you ever even _tried_ to like them?"

"..."

"They're great kids, Saïx. They would love you, if you ever just gave them the _chance_. But how can they, when all you do when you see them is glare and scare them and harass them and act like they're annoying and horrible? They've never seen the real you, never seen what I see, because you never _let_ them. Do you realize how much it kills me that the three of you, the three people I love best in this world, hate each other so much?"

"..."

"Please, Sai."

"...I'll try harder," Saïx finally grumbled.

"That's all I'm asking, bro."

"Just don't ever kiss her in my presence. I'd prefer my meals to progress normally through my digestive system."

"Argh, you and Roxas both! Kissing isn't gross, you know!"

"Remember to whom you're speaking."

"I'm telling you, man, you totally do not know what you're missing."

"You do realize how often I'm tempted to say similar things to you, right?"

"You're such an alien."

"Hmph."

o.o.o

Author's Notes: I wrote this extra scene before it became clear that AkuSai and AkuSaiRokuShi were actually not going to get the short end of the stick like I thought they would. At the beginning of the story, Saïx had been nosing around like a disgruntled cat, trying to figure out how to get his share of Axel, so I'm glad he finally got what he wanted. All the AkuShi had been strangling me, so I really, really, really needed some relief from that, and when I saw that Axel was missing this huge chunk of time from the story and I _knew_ it was AkuSai, I couldn't help peeking in.

I realized that, even though it doesn't fit into the narrative flow of the story, I'd actually need this scene in order to figure out the tone of Axel & Xion's reunion. It also contained a bit of exposition, and the image of Axel trying to dig his cell phone out of Saïx's back pocket really caught my fancy, and then the scene just started writing itself out in my head without waiting for permission, so I gave up resisting. _Such a relief_ to have some AkuSai to fall back on when the AkuShi was killing me, and I really do think it helped to balance out the AkuSaiRokuShi later on, rather than AkuShi winning out.

All that stuff about singing and Saïx's major? Completely last minute; that's what I replaced the lame punchline [from the parody version] with.

Lol, I originally wrote the parody script version [only available on MediaMiner, because FFN is stupid] as part of an e-mail conversation, and ended up liking it so much that I included it in the actual story. XD

Dang it, the "Sultana" surname was supposed to debut in _Stepsiblings_. Oh well.

Everything worked out so perfectly! :D Everyone wins. Xion gets the boyfriend she wanted, Axel lives happily ever after with his princess and no longer has to feel guilty about betraying his brother, Sai & Rox get to keep their best friends, and Roxas, on top of finding out that he wasn't actually in love with Xion after all and therefore doesn't have to deal with a broken heart, has a replacement potential love interest to play with for the future. And Axel & Roxas being brothers makes the AkuRoku an indisputable given. Whee!


End file.
